When you were born, you liked certain things and disliked other things. Somewhere along the way you learnt that what you liked either wasn't what others liked and so made you unworthy, or what you didn't like is exactly what others like, so you changed yourself so that you would be accepted.
We know this isn't true for everyone and in all situations, however for many people in the SSU community, you will have been used to conforming to what others wanted and appeasing others to be liked, accepted and approved of.
However, over time that this has done is solidify in your mind that your wants and desires are inherently unworthy simply because they are yours. You have changed your dreams and goals because of what others have wanted you to do or because of what others have said or how they have acted.
Doing this meant that you chose others over yourself and you suppressed/ignored your intuition when it tried to speak to you. Through this you have likely lost the ability to decipher between what is your intuition and what is fear.
Whilst intuition and fear can feel like they are the same thing, there is a noticeable distinction between the two.
Intuition will often sound feint and just like a little voice in your mind planting an idea or just mentioning a thought. Whereas, fear will most often feel urgent and like something is going to go wrong if you don't listen to it.
Try to see if you can notice when your feel like something is intuition whether it is in fact fear and vice versa. Tune into how the "voice" is making you feel. Do you feel more on edge after the thought/idea comes to you? Or do you not feel too much different just with a new thought or idea?
Sometimes intuition can make you excited because it plants an idea in your mind that really makes you want to jump for joy. But just be careful about categorising happiness and elation with intuition, because sometimes the two aren't linked.
But why is it SO important?
When you trust your intuition it can help guide you to making decisions which are aligned to you. When you act out of a place of fear you are more likely to make decisions that aren't aligned with you purely because you are scared of what might happen. This means that you are not going to be living a life which truly makes you happy and you are more likely to live according to what other people believe and value. This is because when people warn you about things that make them uncomfortable, you are more likely to feel that same fear and then act on that rather than acting from a place of deep integrity and authenticity with who you are and who you want to be.
It is very common for people pleasers to make decisions simply to make others happy. And whilst this might provide some minor instant gratification, the long-term effects of making decisions which aren't aligned or don't fulfil you are much more devastating and frustrating.
When you trust your intuition, you have a better understanding of what is right for you and what is not. You are more likely to make decisions which feel right for you and not simply because others want you to make them.
At SSU, we are very familiar with people pleasing and self-sacrificing behaviours which often lead to disappointment and despondence because you feel that you have never been able to make a "right" decision. This is not true. The "right" decision doesn't exist. A more aligned decision is what we're aiming for.
Before we continue, let's straighten one thing out …
There is always going to be someone that objects with what you do. There will always be someone that disagrees with you or thinks that you should have done something else. But you cannot let that stop you from doing what you want and what makes you happy. People are always going to have their opinions and want to add their 2 cents, but when you are deeply in touch with your intuition and what you want, you won't let that worry you.
Let others think what they want to think. Let them believe what they believe. You don't have to agree with them or make decisions simply to appease them.
It's not going to be a thing that just happens overnight and it's not going to seem easy at first. In fact, trusting your intuition is going to seem damn scary the first few times you start doing it, but the more and more you do it, the easier and breezier it's going to become.
Our suggestion is start small. You don't need to go making huge life decisions on your own and not speaking to anyone about it. But little things like deciding what you want to order off the menu at lunch, or deciding whether you would like to catch up with your friends or have a night in. These are simple ways you can start tuning into your intuition.
Sit with yourself and consider your options and then notice how your body feels when you canvas the different options you have and then make a decision based on what makes you feel good or what appeals the most to you.
To make this process a little easier, we have come up with 5 steps to help you learn to trust your intuition:
- Flex the muscle
- Practice! Practice! Practice!
- Choose yourself
- Use it or lose it
- Keep focussed
There will be bumps and barriers you need to overcome on your journey to getting back in touch with your intuition. But trust that if you want to listen to it, it's there and ready to be heard. Your intuition will start chiming in, quietly at first. But the more you turn your attention to it, listen to it and act upon it, the louder and more clear it will become.
You deserve to be happy too! You deserve to live a live that truly lights you up and makes you feel fulfilled.
You were not put on this earth purely to make others happy and to do things the way others want you to do them. You were put on this earth because you were meant to live a life that is unique and aligned to you and what you want. Life is not meant to be lived from the sidelines or from somebody else's lens.
Please share with us below and let us know how you are going in your journey with trusting your intuition. What have you found to be useful for you in your journey?
Remember, there is always someone out there a step or two behind you that might really benefit from any wisdom or advice you can share! :)
Jump onto our Instagram @sheshowsup to learn more about how to trust your intuition!
Keep showing up for you gorgeous!
Jordy xx