Thirty-one Lessons for Thirty-one Years

1. It is not your job to change yourself to make others feel comfortable - be you for you, no matter what. Never allow someone else's opinion or reaction to determine who you get to be. 
2. Implementing boundaries only infuriates those who benefitted from you not having any - people getting frustrated by you setting boundaries only indicates that you need them even more. 
3. Nothing changes if nothing changes - it's quite a simple equation here, if you don't do anything that is different to what you are currently doing, nothing is going to change.
4. Not choosing is still choosing - avoiding making a decision is still deciding to keep things as they are. It only postpones the decision-making process, it doesn't get rid of it entirely. 
5. No one is coming to save you - you are the only person that can save you. There is no knight in shining armour that's on his way to save you from your situation, that is entirely up to you. 
6. Don't dull your sparkle - if something lights you up or puts a fire in your belly, go after it. Don't ignore your passions and interests simply because others don't share them. 
7. Make YOU proud - when you are doing something for purpose of making someone else proud, (a) you're doing it for the wrong reason, and (b) you're never going to be happy. Do whatever you do, for you. 
8. Do the thing that scares you - your ego wants you to think that the thing you fear is terrifying and is life-threatening. The thing is, once you do it the first time, it won't ever feel like that again. Give it a go, you might just surprise yourself. 
9. Others' opinions of you are none of your business - it is a pointless waste of time trying to control the way that another person thinks and what their perception is of you. You can only control what you can control, and wasting valuable time and energy, is just that - a waste! 
10. March to the beat of your own drum - just because someone tells you that you "should" do things a certain way doesn't mean that you have to. It's your life and you get to choose what you do, where you go, who you go with and the meaning that you give it all. 
11. Diet culture is lying to you - diet culture wants you to believe that there is something wrong with you so that you spend all your time and money buying into the lies and schemes it feeds you. It's all a lie and you are beautiful inside and out as you are right now in this very moment. 
12. Ask for what you want - it's so tempting to think that people can just read your mind and anticipate your needs and wants, but this is not how it works. If you want something or you don't like being treated a certain way, speak up and ask for what you do want. 
13. Fill your cup up first - you will find it so much easier and less burdensome to give to others if you give to yourself first by doing something to recharge your own batteries first. 
14. You deserve the same love you show to others - there is no one more deserving of the love you show to others than yourself. You are your most valuable asset and you are so so deserving of your own love and care too. 
15. Appreciate the little things - it's not all about the big things and that wow factor. There is magic hidden in the little gems that occur throughout your day. You will feel so much more fulfilled when you start recognising the little treasures and wins in your day. 
16. Comfort zones are the killers of growth - fact: the very life you desire is on the other side of your comfort zone. It's time to pluck up the courage and back yourself so that you can chase after the life and the goals you want. 
17. The standard you walk past is the standard you accept - the saying "if you see something say something" is so crucial here. Because if you see something happening and you don't say anything or object to it, you are complicit in it. 
18. Be the example - it's not good enough to simply talk the talk, you need to walk the talk too. Lead by example so that you can be the reference point for others to aspire to and emulate, sitting on the side lines and pointing the finger won't achieve anything. 
19. Tomorrow isn't promised - make the most of every day. Live each day as if it were your last because tomorrow is not guaranteed and life is so precious. Live for today, because who knows what tomorrow brings.
20. You are the author of your story - at any moment you have the power to choose a new story, start a new chapter, change the plot line and/or simply start again. Choose the story you want for your life and write it! 
21. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone else - it's your life and your decisions don't have to make sense to anyone other than you. It's not up to you to convince others of why you want to do things a certain way, that will only lead to frustration and disappointment for you. If it makes sense to you, that's all that matters. 
22. Done is better than perfect - you are not going to be lying on your death bed wishing that you had done things more perfectly. No, you are going to be wishing you had taken more chances, gone after what you wanted, taken the leap, made more mistakes, and acted on what your heart wanted. By waiting until things are perfect to take action, you are severely limiting yourself and you are stopping yourself from living a full and wholesome life. Be brave, dig deep and just give things a go. Things don't have to be perfect for you to try them. 
23. Your thoughts become your reality - your thoughts have a lot of power over you. It is important to pay attention to your thoughts to better understand why your current reality is a certain way. Notice the unhelpful thoughts you have which may cause certain outcomes, and start catching yourself in these thought patterns so that you can navigate yourself out of them and towards something more helpful and healthy. 
24. What you focus on grows - they say that the "grass is greener on the other side", however the grass really is just greener where you water it. So if you are constantly focussing on the negative parts of your life, you are watering those parts of your life and they are going to keep growing. But if you turn your mind to the beautiful aspects of your life and show gratitude for these things, they will be the things that grow and flourish in your life. 
25. You are exactly where you need to be - there is no use comparing yourself to others, it's not helpful. Know this, you are exactly where you need to be right now, and you will get to where you want to go, you're just not there yet. And that is 100% OK. Trust that at the right time, you will get there. 
26. Hurt people hurt people - being aware of your past and your own personal wounds is important because if you aren't, it can cause you to hurt others because you haven't dealt with your own pain. Inner work is seriously underrated and is crucial to ensuring that previous triggers or wounds don't cause you to hurt other people in your life by clouding your judgement and triggering unhealthy reactions in you. 
27. The only person's permission you need is your own - if you are waiting for other people to give you permission to go after what you want, you are going to be waiting forever. You need to step into your power and give yourself the permission. You only need your permission to chase what is important to you. Empower yourself in your own life and affirm yourself. 
28. Just showing up is half the battle - showing up doesn't always have to look glamorous or pretty. Sometimes showing up is just being where you need to be when you need to be there. You don't have to smile all the time, put on a brave face and act like everything is ok. But in showing up you are telling yourself that whatever version of yourself you are that day is enough and worthy of showing up for. 
29. Holding a grudge is only torturing you - I can promise you that the person you are holding a grudge against isn't even giving you a second thought. So why let them take up so much energy and space in your life? Forgive what happened and release it from your mind. You are only torturing yourself by holding onto it so tightly. 
30. You don't have to know everything straight away - life is a constant and continual learning journey. There is never going to be a day when you wake up and suddenly know everything that you'll ever need to know. Take comfort in knowing that a lot of life is learnt on the job and this takes time and experience. So go easy on yourself, know that there will be times that you make mistakes, but that is the only way to learn and grow. 
31. Celebrate every win - there is no minimum requirement for what is worthy of celebration. You, and everything you achieve, is worthy of celebrating - yes, even the little things (actually, especially the little things). So what is society tells you that your achievement is not "good enough". I say, hell yes it is! And you are so deserving and worthy of being celebrated for anything and everything. 

So those are my thirty-one lessons for thirty-one years!

Take them or leave them, these lessons are just some wisdom and insights I have gained over the years that have influenced the person that I have become and the values and routines I have adopted.
 
Which life lesson are you keen to adopt or implement into your life?
 
I’d love for you to share with us which of the above life lessons resonated with you and why.
 
Let’s get a discussion going and share the insight we’ve gained with one another so we can grow together as a community.
 
Keep showing up for you gorgeous!
 
Jordy xx