3 Tips for Beginning a New Self-Care Routine

I have heard this a million times, and to be honest, I have even thought it myself at times, but let me reassure you that there is no ONE right way to do self-care. Self-care is going to look so different for everyone and that is because we are all unique individuals. To be completely honest, the world would be a pretty boring place if we all were interested in, motivated by and relaxed by the same things. It's just not how it works. So don't be afraid to try different things than those which your friends or family members use as part of their self-care practices and routines. 

 

I have tried a number of things over the years and there are some things that will work for me during a particular season of my life and then they won't in the next. And then there are those things which I always come back to because they seem to just work for me consistently and they feel right for the type of person that I am. 

 

The saying, you can't poor from an empty cup is just so true. Being someone who has always wanted to help others and do the "right" thing by others and myself (but more so others), I have found myself easily drained and pouring from an empty cup on many occasions. The issue with this is that we are just not able to our best selves when we haven't given ourselves what we need before trying to serve and help others. Think about it like this, if a car is running out of petrol and you keep driving it and driving it, eventually it's going to conk out because it's going to have no fuel left. It's the same with us, we get to a point where we have nothing left to give and nothing to power us along and so we literally cannot give anything or be anything for anyone until we give to ourselves and fuel ourselves by fill up our own "petrol tank".

 

Here are a list of some common methods/tools people use for self-care:

• Journaling 
• Exercise
• Skin care routine
• Cooking
• Napping
• Drawing
• Listening to music 
• Playing music 
• Meditation
• Mindfulness
• Breath work 
• Calling a friend
• Having a cup of tea
• Yoga
• Reading

 

There are a huge range of activities which can you can include in your self-care routine, the above list just being a small sample of them.

 

My current self-care routine and toolkit consists of the following:

• Journaling
• Exercise
• Music (both listening to music and playing music) 
• Skin care routine
• Having a cup of tea
• Pep talks (yes, I give these to myself!)
• Debrief with a friend
• Reading

 

I am sure that I have missed out a couple of things, but those are the main things that I can think of being part of my current toolkit during this season of my life. I am someone who likes variety, so I find that having multiple things in my tool kit helps me to have lots of things I can do and try when I need to fill up my own cup. 

 

Another trap with self-care routines is thinking they have to look a certain way or that they have to feel a certain way straight away. That is just not the case. Here are 3 simple tips to beginning a new self-care routine:

 

Take it slow - the thing with self-care, like with most things in life, is that it's not at all about the destination, but rather it's about the journey. It's not the case that you will start your self-care routine and the next day you will be calm, relaxed, stress free and all your problems are solved. Self-care is also not linear. There will be days where some of your self-care activities will work and then days when none of them will. Or days when you simply can't bring yourself to leave the house or leave your bed. Again, that is ok. You just need to take it slowly and one step at a time. It's a process of finding out what works for you on each new day. There is no "quick fixes" in this self-care game. Sure, something might make you feel good almost instantaneously, but it won't last forever. There will be ups and downs and part of the self-care journey is riding the waves and working out how to best nurture and nourish your mind, body and soul. 

Trust your gut - as I mentioned previously, what works for one person may not work for you, and that is also absolutely ok. You are allowed to like and prefer different things to others. You know what you like and your intuition will let you know what feels good, what is relaxing and what makes you feel loved and cared for. The most important part of the self-care journey is the "SELF" part of self-care. This is YOUR self-care routine and it's meant to be custom made for you, your needs, your preferences and your nourishment. You will hear things about what others do and about what the "latest craze" is. However, that doesn't mean just because it's "trending" or "all the rage" that you have to be doing that thing to. If it doesn't feel right to you, or you don't enjoy it and it doesn't bring you peace - listen to your gut and get rid of it. Throw it out of your toolkit and eject it from your routine. Only allow things that bring you peace of mind, body and/or soul into your self-care routine/toolkit.

Be kind to you - be gentle. Be gentle on yourself because being human means that we're imperfect and we don't always get it right the first time. Part of the journey is learning about what brings you peace, calm and joy. Part of the self-care journey is understanding how different experiences and people affect you and your peace. It is not always going to be clear cut and sometimes things won't work when you want them to. But those are the times when you need to be so kind to yourself and really nurture and love yourself because this is how we care for ourselves. Self-care is about filling up your own cup and restoring peace and balance in your mind, body and soul. This cannot be done from a place of anger or frustration - self-care needs to come from love and compassion for ourselves and our experiences, journey and traumas. You are worthy of love, care, kindness and compassion - you need to give these things to yourself like you would any friend or family member. 

 

I have added and removed things over the years, and as I mentioned earlier, some times certain activities make their way into my self-care routine for a period of time and then they get relegated to the sidelines at other times when I am finding them to be less relaxing and cup-filling for me. 

I would love to know about your self-care routines and toolkits. What types of activities/practices do you have in yours? Do you feel that you have a good amount of self-care in your life? Do you want more/less? 

 It would be great to get a conversation going about self-care and the different methods that the members of the She Shows Up community use to nurture and nourish their bodies and souls. 

 

Keep showing up for you gorgeous! 

 

Jordy xx